I spent the better part of Tuesday night (okay all of it) finishing up reading "The Snowman."
So I think you all know what that means...
No time to write a blog post = Colton's filling in!
Today he'll be discussing the top 5 reasons guys love fantasy football and the perfect solution if it's taking over your guy's life.
I'm not going to lie, most of what Colton wrote went waaaay over my head but I do like his "perfect solution."
And maybe your boyfriend/hubs/fantasy football lover will get a kick out of this post.
Congratulations! Why do I say that you ask? Because! You made it to another edition of Colton takes over Brie’s blog for a day. Woohoo! Soohong (inside joke)! In honor of Week 3 of the football season, I thought it’d be a good time to talk football. And not just football, but FANTASY football. Pretty much the greatest thing ever invented (second maybe to spam)! And thus, I give you “The top 5 reasons guys love fantasy football and the perfect solution if it's taking over your guy’s life”.
1. Because of fantasy football, the NFL season actually starts about five weeks earlier. There’s analyzing off season pickups, evaluating injuries and personnel changes, checking depth charts, ranking your top 100 players, and watching the pre-season to see if and how player’s roles have changed. It’s just pure heaven.
2. Fantasy football gives guys the chance to flaunt their manhood and superior football knowledge over their friends. There’s nothing better than watching your last minute waiver wire pick-up have a career game and vault you to victory over your best friends. Trust me, I just experienced this on Monday night and it’s just pure heaven.
3. Fantasy football gives guys the power over multi-million dollar athletes. We get to decide which all-stars to play and which all-stars to sit. We get to take over our favorite players and watch them ruin our friend’s night (see Number2). Please note: It’s not LIKE we're playing in the NFL each week, we ARE playing in the NFL each week. It’s just pure heaven.
4. Fantasy football makes having DirecTV with the NFL Sunday Ticket a legitimate investment. Picture this, we can watch any and every game our little hearts desire. Even better,we can watch all the action from every redzone situation of the week on the same channel. Even better, we can watch 8 games at once. No seriously, we can watch 8 games all on one channel…AT THE SAME TIME! Do you realize that’s 16 teams with 176 offensive players, plus 16 kickers, plus 16 defenses all of which could potentionally be working for us on one channel…AT THE SAME TIME?! Yeah. It’s just pure heaven.
5. Fantasy football gives guys the fantasy football draft! Remember Number 1 above? Well this is when it all pays off! Allow me to explain. After all the hard work and research we put into the pre-season, we now get to draft the best possible team you could possibly imagine while simultaneously smack talking each and every pick our friends make (cuz let’s be real, there’s only one correct pick each round and it’s mine). As the draft progresses, we can see our team forming right in front of our eyes and begin to tell our friends just how much more knowledgeable we are and how badly we aregoing to beat them (see Number 2). When the draft concludes, we admire our 16 player team and begin to anxiously await that glorious opening day when we can watch those 16 players go to work for us on one channel…AT THE SAME TIME! (see Numbers 3 and 4 above). It’s just pure heaven.
And now the moment you've all been waiting for. Just what exactly do you do if fantasy football has consumed your guy’s life? I give you…The Solution.
Solution: Don’t worry about it. Fantasy football generally only lasts through Week 16 of the season (Week 13 if you’ve had an unfortunate season and are having to deal with all of your friends jabbing you every chance they get). By the time fantasy football is over, your guy will be so depressed that it’s over he’ll be begging you to take him shopping with you (well, maybe not begging, but he’ll come along without pouting too much). I guess what I’m saying is, there really is no solution. All there is is acceptance and the realization that giving him 16 weeks of fantasy football gives you 36 weeks of “Hey remember football season? Yeah, let’s go shopping!”
There you have it folks. An explanation to exactly why we are the way we are during that magical time that is Fantasy Football Season! I hope you all found this enlightening. I’m sure you did! Peace out Sophistifunkers!
P.S. – You’ll understand if you don’t hear from me for a while. It's fantasy football season after all. :)